Growing up, I decided, a long time ago, I wouldn't accept any man-made differences between human beings, differences made at somebody else's insistence or someone else's whim or convenience.
Have you ever been in the company of someone and you have a strong drive to offer insight into something that may assist them? Have you ever wanted share something you know but perhaps feel it will be rejected?
When it comes to loved ones, friends, and specifically children, do you have a strong desire to make things easier or offer advice on what you think would serve them better? Have you been in a place where you really don't want to hear advice or be rescued from a situation? Many of us have, to some degree.
At times we may force our will upon others. As parents we may say, “I'm the father or I'm the mother”, but do we really accomplish much with this mindset?
Something I suggest, instead of extending yourself where it’s not received or warranted, we can offer holding space for someone.
What does it mean to hold space for someone else? It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome.
When we hold space for other people we open our hearts, we offer unconditional support and we let go of judgement and control.
For us to support people in their growth, transformation, grief, etc., we can’t do it by taking their power away because it won’t be received in this way. For example, trying to fix their problems, shaming them (implying that they should know more than they do), or overwhelming them and giving them more information than they’re ready for.
We have to be prepared to step to the side so that they can make their own choices, When we hold space we offer them unconditional love and support, we give gentle guidance when it’s needed and we help them feel safe even when they make mistakes.
Warm Regards,
Adam Gell